loco/crazy

deep breath.
drink of orange juice.
deep breath.
arm stretch.


Okay. I have been feeling a lot of different emotions in the past few weeks. Peace. Anxiety. Elation. Depression. Hope. Worry. Is it possible that I am going crazy? Mayyyyybe. But I prefer to view this as "going through a major life change" in which all my feelings are "perfectly normal."

Well, I have never done this transition of going back to the States after living in a foreign country for nearly 2 years. There's a lot to think about. For starters, the logistics of coming back: housing, getting a job, reconnecting. Then, there's processing everything I have encountered living here in Honduras and how it has changed/grown me. I know coming down here I didn't have expectations because I had never been here before. But going back is a little different because I do know what life looks like in the States, but I don't know what ME looks like there now. I don't think I am a completely different person, but I have been stretched so that parts of me came out that never had a reason to before.
Positives? I have gained confidence personally and professionally. I have grown in my relationship with God. I have grown in patience. I have learned to appreciate different cultures. I have learned to appreciate my family more.
Negatives? I have learned the world isn't full of happiness and security and justice. I've become a little less trusting and a little more skeptical.

I think what worries me is that people won't understand that I am processing a lot when I come back, that they will think everything is just the same and I am just the same. But I know it will be an adjustment and while I am really excited to start it, I'm also scared.


deep breath.
drink of orange juice.
back to lesson planning.