Comparing and Competing

I went to a worship night at my school tonight, and it was so good. In the middle of it, God brought to my mind what I confess to be a prominent sin in my life - jealousy, wanting to compare and compete with others. At church this Sunday, the entire sermon aimed straight on that topic, and I was amazed. The pastor went through various examples of people in the Bible who struggled with jealousy and the effect it had on them. But God knew I needed even more of an illustration. He gave it to me today, and it all hit me during the worship night. So, just let me tell you the story from today, and then I will explain.

We were in math class today, and I put my 1st grade students into partner groups. I gave each group 9 tens blocks and 9 ones blocks. We were practicing double digit addition, so I had one person make a number, the other person make a number, and then add them together. I knew that they could add any two numbers that equaled up to 99, so there would always be enough blocks for them. But I had these two students fighting like crazy over the blocks. I tried to explain to them that there was enough for both people and they did not need to fight, but they kept going at it, comparing and competing for those blocks. Finally I got so frustrated that I said, "This is ridiculous! This is not a competition. This is not a game. There are enough blocks for both of you and you don't need to fight about this! Work together and share."

Well, God brought this story to my mind, and as I contemplated how ridiculous I still thought it was, I realized that I am exactly the same as those kids! I am constantly comparing myself and competing with people - like life is some game or competition. Like I need to grab all the good stuff before others get it. Like there is not enough life, love, or air for all of us to have some. Like God doesn't provide what we each need. Like His blessings will run out if I don't race to get them faster than the others. And just like I, as the teacher, could plainly see that there were enough blocks for both of my students, God can plainly see that His blessings are enough for all His people, that life doesn't need to be a competition. It is, in the end, ridiculous to live that way. WHOA. I think I'm starting to get it.

In conclusion, there is SO much to learn from children. They are constantly bringing out the best and worst in me, and I am very thankful for those clear pictures and chances to grow.